


Those Three Words

by best_in_red



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Angst, Children of Earth Spoilers, M/M, Romance, Torchwood Radio Dramas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-29
Updated: 2013-05-29
Packaged: 2017-12-13 09:11:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/822564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/best_in_red/pseuds/best_in_red
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically, a one-shot on the way Ianto Jones affected Jack over the years that they were together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Those Three Words

Jack Harkness could never say those three words: I love you. Not after the first time. He was immortal, he found out. And he knew that no matter what, whoever he cared for, whoever he loved, would disappear. He got close. He asked the question, said the vows, promised to be with them forever.

But after outliving the first lover and realizing that it would always be like this, he couldn't say it to anyone anymore. Because they would all leave him, just like the Doctor had. Because Captain Jack Harkness was wrong. He was a fixed point in time and space and that was just wrong, and no one deserved someone wrong falling in love with them.

Then, there was Ianto. Jack didn't know what he was feeling for the Welshman the first time they met. He was, of course, grateful for the help with the Weevil. He had been on the way to dying had Ianto not shown up and gotten the alien off of him. But, he was also suspicious of the man who knew about aliens, so he dismissed any other feelings.

The incident with the pteranodon, though sparked something within Jack. Having Ianto lie on top of him, breathing heavily, laughing from the pure exhileration made Jack begin to want him. And they would have kissed, perhaps gone even farther, had Ianto not pulled away. As the young man walked away, Jack couldn't resist giving him the job, nor could he help the well-placed comment about his suit.

As time wore on, Ianto began to make a place in Jack's heart. Not romantically, of course, they never did anything more than flirt back and forth, but still, the Welshman inexplicably began to find a place.

That's why it hurt even more when Ianto betrayed them with Lisa. And Jack was so angry, angry that Ianto could have ever taken advantage of them, of him, like that, angry that Ianto had dared to pretend to have feelings for him. But mostly, Jack was angry at himself. Upset that he hadn't noticed the signs. Jack wanted something with Ianto, but if he didn't care enough to ask the man how he was, what kind of person was he? And, despite his betrayal, Jack found himself caring for the man even more deeply.

The incident with the cannibals shook Jack, though he didn't let anyone see it. His whole team had almost been lost, Ianto had almost been lost. And after everyone had been sent to their respective homes, and Ianto was busy tidying the Hub despite his injuries, Jack had forcibly taken him home. And then, Ianto had begged him, pleaded with him not to leave because he was scared, he was so scared. And so Jack didn't say anything, just nodded and placed a firm kiss on those beautiful lips. He lay with Ianto that night, and held him tight so when he woke, screaming from the nightmares, Jack was there. Later, Jack reflected, the cannibals were almost a blessing. They had given Jack a way into Ianto's heart.

After the cannibals, Jack wanted Ianto more than ever. Almost losing him had shown him that. But he didn't want to force Ianto to do anything, so he waited, hoping and longing for the connection with that man.

The last thing Jack expected was Ianto propositioning something over the twice dead body of Suzie Costello, but Jack still went along. He had to mentally control the grin on his face from becoming too idiotic as Ianto finally gave him a way to start a relationship with the man. And he went to his office with anticipation that night, excited to see what would happen. And it had been good, it really had.

After a while, it started to become clear that what they were doing was becoming something more than just sex. At least, it was becoming clear to Jack. He realized that there was a tiny flame that was beginning to burn inside him. A flame of love. And that really scared Jack, because it meant he was having real, true feelings for Ianto.

He tried to get rid of them, by finding someone else. Someone he could have a relationship with, but not fall for completely. His flirting with Gwen went to a whole new level, and then there was the real Captain Jack Harkness. But he couldn't shake that feeling, that feeling of love for the young man.

When the Doctor had shown up, Jack thought it was great timing. Running away with the Doctor to find a cure for his immortality would have been a great way to forget about these feelings he was starting to have.

What Jack wasn't expecting was the year of torture courtesy of the Master. One would think the pain and suffering would instantly quell any sort of romantic feelings he had towards any person, but the opposite was true. In fact, those long days of nothing, with bits of torture in between, gave him more than enough time to think about Ianto and how much he loved him.

Jack couldn't describe the relief and joy he felt when Ianto agreed to the date. When they finally had it, he made sure that it was going to be perfect. The great French restaraunt, picking him up at his flat, flowers, the whole shenanigans. For the first time in a long time, Jack was going to be in a relationship and he was going to do it right. He loved the look on Ianto's face when he showed up in front of his flat. He couldn't help himself when he swooped in for a kiss. The shock registered on Ianto's face was beyond priceless, and he deepened the kiss. After a few seconds of interupted kissing, Jack had realized that if they kept this up, they wouldn't make it out of his flat. Under normal circumstances, this would have been alright, but Jack really wanted the perfect date.

It really had turned out alright. Jack had diverted Rift alerts away from him so they didn't get interrupted. They had their dinner, Jack made small talk about what happened when he was gone. He cracked a few jokes, to which Ianto laughed at, shyly. They had dessert, Jack insisted on paying the bill and with all the manners of a courteous gentleman, he gave Ianto a ride home in the Torchwood SUV.

When they had gotten to Ianto's flat, Jack stood outside the door, unsure of what to do. The feeling unsettled him, he hated not being sure, so Jack Harkness did the only thing he could think of. He grabbed Ianto, who was looking so very delectable, and kissed him with all the love, passion and force that he could muster. Ianto had responded in kind, and Jack barely managed to pull the door shut behind him as he was pulled into Ianto's flat. That night, Jack had lain in Ianto's bed, arm draped across the sleeping Welshman and had very quietly whispered "I love you" into his ear. Of course, Ianto wasn't awake, so it didn't really count, but it was a step for Jack. A step into the frightening territory of love.

Jack thought Ianto was going to die when they were up against those people holding the creature prisoner for its meat. He saw the man pointing the gun down at him and heard the gun go off. When Ianto had gotten up, Jack breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that he was still alive, but he was still busy trying to avoid the creature, so the best that he could do was call some orders and hope that Ianto was well enough to follow them. When the fiasco with the giant slug-thing was over and he had let Rhys keep his memories, he immediately went to Ianto. That night he held the man like he was going to lose him the next day, because Jack had almost lost him that day and it scared the hell out of him, knowing that they had just started a relationship.

Their relationship started progressing rather fast from then on. They went on more dates, more nights were spent at Ianto's flat, and Jack found himself falling even more for the Welshman. Of course, they had their obstacles as well. Jack couldn't help but flirt with the waitresses and waiters that served them at the restaurants, nor could he help the favoritism he showed Gwen. There was something about that woman, that made him want her, but at the end of the day, there was no one he wanted more than Ianto and despite the constant arguments they had about Jack's fidelity, Jack knew that Ianto knew that too.

When that building exploded on top of them, the whole team almost died. Jack resurrected from death, the first thought on his mind was Ianto. After Gwen pulled him from the wreckage, he immediately set off to find him, hoping and praying that he wasn't dead. Ianto got off easy, just a dislocated shoulder, for which Jack was extremely grateful. And during the 1900 years he was buried, his thoughts were filled with Ianto and the hope that he would be there when Jack finally woke in the 21st century. That night, after everything that had happened with Gray and Tosh and Owen, Jack held Ianto close to him. He didn't want to lose him.

They had more than a few close shaves, with the proton accelerator, and the submarine incident, and Jack made a decision. He couldn't say it, not to Ianto. Because it would hurt too much. He saw how people reacted to losing ones that they had said they loved. Somehow, saying it out loud made it so much more real. That's why Jack didn't want them to be called a couple. He didn't want to tie anymore bonds to Ianto, even though deep down, he knew it was too late. He was already completely chained to the Welshman, heart and soul. Then, as Ianto spoke those three words, lying in Jack's arms, and Jack told him tearfully that he shouldn't, Jack wanted to say it back. But he knew that the pain, once he lost the Welshman, would be too great, so he didn't.

But then, after Ianto, Jack realized those three words had sparked something. They had opened a door in Jack's heart that had been closed for a very long time. And now, as Jack would lie with countless lovers over the thousands of years, he was able to love them fully, let them into his hearts even though it would hurt when they had to leave him because countless years ago, on a planet called Earth, in the insignificant Cardiff, Wales, a young Welshman in an impeccable suit was able to look at Jack Harkness and say, "I love you." 

**Author's Note:**

> My first post on this site. How exciting. Well, I hope you enjoyed this.


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